i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
