I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
