Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
