Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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