The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
