I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
