i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
