Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
