that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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