i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
