I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
