Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
