Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There's always time for handjobs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
