I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize