One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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