It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
