Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
