Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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