Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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