Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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