his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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