Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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