last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
