What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
