She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
