I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
