you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
That's intense
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
