You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
