told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
