Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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