If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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