i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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