I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do you still have your period?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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