he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
