Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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