Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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