do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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