a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
