i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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