Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
