I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
