I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Drake has all the answers
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
