oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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