Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
