Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the condom got lost in my hair
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
