i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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