your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
