also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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