At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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