maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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