Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i barfeds in our rink
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
