Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
