the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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