ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
