i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
