ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize