he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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