I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
