I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
