Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
