I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
