my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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