The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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