i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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