Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
being pregnant is like rehab
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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